Jamaican Blog on Hair, Health and Fashion

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So I Big Chopped

As I alluded to last week, I went ballistic and chopped off all my hair. It was the morning after Valentine’s day. I was trying to figure out what to do with my hair. My frustrations were raging as I knew anything I did with it would only last a day or two and then I’d be back at square one. I knew I was close to a big chop, but I figured I would go and get my favourite hairstyle done one more time as that one should last me about a week.

So I was trying to get ready to go but I was also battling another demon inside. I was trying to take control of several situations that I had allowed to spiral way too far outta control and I decided I needed to do something to take back the reins. That something was staring back at me in the mirror. I said fine, I’ll go to the hairdresser and let her cut it. But even that seemed like me giving control over to someone else. I wanted an immediate solution. I decided it really couldn’t be that bad if I chopped it off myself. 

So I grabbed my shears, I went into my bathroom, and I chopped. That first cut was…..

So many things flew through my head. I cut it too short so I kicked myself for cutting off so much of my precious new growth. Then the shears had a hard time with it so I kicked myself for creating split ends with a dull scissor. Or maybe it was too thick a section. Then I looked at myself and said

You’re not pretty anymore.

And that did me in. What in the world had gotten into me??? Who was I talking to? I’m not pretty anymore because I was cutting my hair??? It’s just hair! I got so mad at myself for even thinking that so I went to work and cut the rest off.

Then I looked at myself in the mirror. What in the world had I done. It was choppy, lopsided, uneven, all over the damn place. My head felt light and I could feel the breeze going through it. But I did it and there was no turning back. You know ever since I made the decision to go natural, I knew a big chop would be in my future. I’ve always wanted to sport a short curly do. But I was a little scared I won’t lie. I wasn’t prepared. A haircut this short needed accessories and makeup and all the things I don’t wear and therefore didn’t have. I hate makeup. I only do eyes and lipgloss when I’m feeling fancy. I sweat way too much for foundation and the whole nine. And I gave up on earrings long ago when my ears decided it was too sensitive for anything that wasn’t real gold. And scarves? Forget about it…

But at the same time I felt proud. I felt empowered. I did it. *does Dora dance* And if I could do this, I can do some of the other things I keep pushing to the side because I’m a coward. And in the couple days since I have cut my hair I have certainly been putting my best foot forward and not holding back. But back to the big chop…

So funny. One side is tooooootally *longer* than the next. Thankfully, it’s not too obvious when its washed.

This is without any product applied, fresh out the shower. I’ve been reading up on my natural ingredients, especially since I haven’t been able to get my hands on any of the products that all the bloggers rave about here in Jamaica. But you know what, these natural ingredients are doing the damn thing. I deep conditioned the other day with honey, mayo, olive oil, coconut oil and aloe vera. It was sooooo good. I cannot keep my fingers out my hair which isn’t going well with the whole “no frizz” thing but I soooo love my hair! I love my curls. I am at a loss as to why I ever put relaxer in my hair as I’ve always preferred a curly do. My first relaxer was all my decision, when I was fresh outta high school, preparing for the graduation ceremony. That’s a post in and of itself, it was such a joke.

So I’ve been experimenting with some scraps of fabric from back in the day when I used to sew. I’m so not a headband kinda girl. What do you think? Well, I did what I know best and coloured it instead. How’s that for accessorizing? I’ve always done some shade of blonde so I decided to try a red this time around. Unfortunately it didn’t come out as deep as I wanted it, but its a start. So there you have it, my big chop! I really can’t wait for some growth! :p

*** One week later I’m just now getting used to passing a mirror and not jumping! I think I am finally getting used to seeing myself like this, and I have decided, I quite like it. Plus I so love my curls :)

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words below and on twitter and facebook. They’ve helped me to remember that I am not my hair. I am still quite new in my natural journey and very open to all your product and styling suggestions.

Love,

Irie

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38 Comments

  1. Monique you look lovely, and believe me, I’m not just saying that. Love the colour with it. Take lotsa pictures as it grows out or else it’ll be hard for you to believe it’s actually moving. Happy natural journey!

    • thanks Sasha! I think I’m finally used to it now lol. I feel like its gonna take forever to grow but yeah i’ll take lots of pics

  2. This was really inspiring. I love your new do–you’re beautiful! & so is your hair.

    • thanks so much. it was quite a change, im just getting used to it

    • thanks Gordon :)

  3. Normally i start war and riot when women cut their hair, but i like this one. It fits you :D

    • lol thank Kareem. I know most guys seemingly like long hair so i’m quite surprised at all the love i been getting from the men

  4. MONIQUE!!!! You look fabulous!!!! Your hair is looking healthy, the skin is radiant and you’re already rocking fab accessories. Happy Hair Growing!!! =D I should really blog my own Big Chop story, it was all of 5 months ago! Lord.

    • yes you should!!! *spanks you*
      thanks, its a journey lol

  5. Your hair is lovely. I did the big chop 2 years ago but I kept it short for a year because i loved it. Growing it out now though. Good luck with the journey x

    • thanks so much! I am dying for it to grow out, but caring for it at this length is so easy! big plus!! happy hair growing!

  6. Sis ur GORGEOUS!!!!!!! i love it & cant wait to join u.

    btw u can get good natural hair products @ nettle & moss. tell them what you want & they’ll recommend produts

    • thanks babe i went by there over the weekend but there were out of what i wanted.

  7. Your hair looks sooooo amazing! You look really cute with short hair. Love your curls and the color. I actually think it looks better without the headband, prob because I can see more of your hair.

    I hope it really empowers you to take over everything else in your life that ha spiraled out of control.

    • thank you so much!

  8. You look great and you have a beautiful curl pattern.

    Alicia
    http://Chica-Fashion.com

    • thank you!

  9. wow you look beautiful

    • thanks!

  10. Oml! I love it!!!

  11. You look fabulous(found your page from Twitter thru your tweet to Curly Nikki)! I just chopped off a couple of inches, but I’m itching to do more. See how great you look has already decided me to chop off a couple more inches next week – I can’t wait!

    • lil ol’ me an inspiration? thanks so much! im so happy i shared my story

  12. Gorgeous! Enjoy your hair journey.

  13. Cuz…your hair looks amazing. You my dear did inherit the Indian gene from our family. I don’t have curls I have partial waves and a hot mess…lol. You are beautiful and the “hair chop” fits you. Love ya

    • lol thanks cuz, with all the reading i’ve been doing online i am sure your “hot mess” would look gorgeous with a little love :)

  14. I love it!!!!!

    • thanks :D

  15. your hair look lovely girl… i did my big chop a few months ago and being chopping since, nice.

  16. real nice. I myself am transitioning and i cannot wait to cut it off… i am going 6 month transitioning. I watch u tube vids all the time and its a great place for information. All the best!

  17. You should really check out Beautiful Earth on constant spring rd. They have in my opinion the greatest selection you could ask for in natural hair care, and their service are TOPS!! Tell Veronica Gariece’s wife sent you….i don’t know what will come of it, but it’s worth a try. And GIRL!!! You are beautiful.

  18. You looks amazing! You’re beautiful! You’re hair is beautiful! Just perfect!

  19. i just discovered your blog – you are beautiful, short natural hair or long. i love the color too. the headbands look great on you as well!

    • thanks so much Tiffany! don’t be a stranger :)

  20. Yes! I love it!

  21. I don’t think I want to wait the whole 3 months before I chop. I don’t mind starting really short, as a matter of fact, I think it’s the best way to track. I want to know, since I am pure negro, is there a place you can recommend I try, that will offer products to give me a 1/8th coolie look? I was thinking Nettle and Moss, any other suggestions?

  22. Hi, I never dreamt I would find another Jamaican on a hair journey!!! I’ve started my transition many times and ive always succumbed to the ‘creamy crack’ siiggghhhhhhhs. Anyhoo, if your in kingston, have you tired Discount beauty supplies? Ive found alot of the products that people blog about there.

    • Hi Tanisha welcome to the blog! Yes, discount beauty supply is my second home lol. i need to go there for some leave-in conditioner now that you remind me. how are you finding your transition?

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