Why You MUST Go To Secrets Resort Montego Bay

As a lifestyle blogger that enjoys showcasing the best of my island it would be remiss of me not to blog about my weekend getaway at Secrets Resort recently, as I have now dubbed it my favourite all-inclusive resort located here in Jamaica. It takes the top notch from my time spent at Hedonism which was also fantastic.

IrieDiva at Secrets Resort Montego Bay

For the quick rundown of exactly why it has taken the top spot, here yah go. No kids, top shelf liquor, pristine beaches, delicious dining options, a very comfortable room, premium adult channels and entertaining night life. Yes! No to mention the property is absolutely gorgeous.

Secrets St. James


There’s a bed hanging from a tree hammock style just off to the right of this picture that came in so handy after one too many scotch on the rocks while hitting the piano bar. Anyway. I arrived just in time for lunch and opted to hit the buffet instead of the poolside grills. I judged from previous experiences that poolside grills serve pizza, burgers, hot dogs and jerk chicken. I was wrong, but more on that later. At the buffet, I had shrimp, chicken and fish and I was duly impressed. I have never been a fan of the food at all-inclusive hotels. It all kinda tastes like mass-produced canteen food. Hedonism changed that perception for me and Secrets has now totally surpassed that.


After lunch, a quick walk around the property was necessary and as I began to explore I was able to take in the sheer beauty of the place. Is this a new property? It is certainly well maintained. It was just about sunset too and though the clouds prevented what I know was a spectacular one, it was still perfect. Sitting out just over the beach area with a single malt scotch on the rocks was heavenly.

Secrets Wild Orchid


So at dinner time I realised that the buffet was not an option. We chose from the restaurants available, French, Italian, Jamaican and Japanese. I chose French.



I’m so glad I did. The food was outstanding and the wine was served in humongous Olivia Pope-esque glasses that made me feel very sophisticated all night. It also set the tone for the evening. I went dancing under the stars to the house band and then sat at a piano bar and sang songs I didn’t know all night long. I left there looking something like this.


But hey, my hair looked great! That rainfall-style shower does wonders for my wash and go. Breakfast is my soft spot at an all-inclusive. It’s always the same thing for me, I LOVE me an American breakfast and I wasn’t gonna change that here. My plate, that was accompanied with a few mimosas.



Yeah, it’s never pretty but always so yummy. Absolutely nothing green, SMH. There’s usually a mountain of bacon and French toast so these minimal servings was me trying to not completely fall off the 7 day meal plan. After breakfast I went and posted up on the beach with a dirty banana. I did not want to move. The beach was so so perfect! I laid out right at the very edge.



It could not have been a more perfect day out.


That sail boat thingy behind me capsized and they had to race out there on a little dingy to go help them. See, adventure and excitement for my viewing pleasure. At about 11am a jerk chicken stand rolled out to the pool area right behind where I was laid up so I grabbed a bite to eat and a few more drinks and did absolutely nothing. Then at around 2pm I decided to go have lunch. See why people get fat at all-inclusives?



Remember how I was saying I don’t trust poolside grills? Yeah. This is one side of the menu that I ordered from. There was more. What did I get? Oh… everything…



I’m not gonna show you dessert. I gotta draw the line somewhere! And of course with nothing else but laying out on the beach on my agenda, I did nothing to work all this food off so by the time dinner rolled around I was absolutely not gonna make it. I went down to the Italian restaurant still, surely I had to try the lasagne, but I decided it wasn’t worth finishing and so I hit the dance floor instead.



There was bonfire dancing and then there was in the club dancing. And when I hit the club I changed from margaritas to long islands so you know the night was turnt. I’m so happy the grill is open for you to catch a bite to eat on your way to your room after hours. I think it was the grill. Someplace. Anyhoo. Needless to say I didn’t catch breakfast the next morning. Lunch was great tho! I had a shrimp salad and a reggae wrap that was absolutely delicious. See, I was trying to take it down a notch from all the overeating. Something.



I dunno why I didn’t snap the wrap too. It was spicy with jalapeño peppers and chipotle chicken, with bacon and cheese. I think this post is long enough. I’m gonna wrap it up here to say that I feel like I’ve graduated to a different class of all-inclusive. Iberostar was great, Hedonism was awesome and now Secrets. I don’t think you’ll every catch me at Hilton, Riu or Jewels unless its for work. I do have my eye on Sandals though. And that new Royalton. And definitely that Hyatt. Am I being a snob? You damn right.

However it makes me wonder about my future travel plans. I was just on Twitter having a discussion about budget travel. I’ve been following a few travel blogs, drawn to the idea of backpacking through Europe or Asia but I’m not completely sold on all the way low-budget. You’ll never catch me in a hostel, think I’m over that… generation? Maybe a villa or a guest house type scenario. But I don’t think I want to travel on a nickel and dime budget when I do so we’ll see how this all plays out.

All this to say, put Secrets on your list of places to go. My weekend there was fun and I shall definitely return. Matter fact, if I go to another country where the chain is I may be enticed to stay there.

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