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2012’s biggest life lesson: take control of your happiness

What was your biggest life lesson in 2012? Have you made a breakthrough in your life recently or even some time before? There’s a comment I get a lot these days “you look so free” and I can’t even take full credit for it. I think? There wasn’t any real point where I made a conscious effort to change, I just knew that something had to give and I made super small changes that mushroomed.


I can look back now and see what happened, what made those changes happen, and how I learned from them. My biggest lesson in 2012 was to learn to live for me. To live my life how I wanted to live it and not be concerned with judgement or expectations from society or outside voices that really have no business or influence on my life. I spent enough time trying to conform to what society’s expectations are of career, love, appearance. Last year I busted through all that and just decided to do me. And what happened when I decided to do me? My real supporters emerged, my true desires emerged, my purpose in life revealed itself and my true happiness blossomed. No longer was I putting a picture out there that simply wasn’t true. These days when I smile, it is genuine, and people pick up on that. My happiness is true now because I make decisions with only me in mind, then everybody else. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. 

This year, I’d like to begin shifting the focus on others. I think I can finally say that I know who I am and what I am about. I know what I want out of life, I know where I want to be in five years and I am making real steps to achieve that. Now that I know who I am, it is now that I can love others. It is now that I can give of myself. I am not afraid anymore to tell my friends what offends me, what I don’t like, how to treat me, as it is us who train others on how to treat us. I know my worth now, I know what I will put up with and how I want to be treated. Likewise, I know how I want to treat my friends. I know now how to love and how to give. I want to instill that sense of giving in my child. This year, my focus is on building great relationships all around. I’ve taken lots of people in my life for granted, well this year I want to show them just how much they mean to me by being a better friend, daughter, aunt, niece, mother, sister, wife. I have made great strides in my friendships and in love last year and this year I’d like to build upon that and to see my small circle expand and grow stronger.

That moment when we stop portraying one image for others to see while we are unhappy on the inside, that moment when we finally let it go and instill true changes, that’s the moment that the magic happens. When we accept what is and learn to begin working with it or changing ourselves and our thinking, that’s the magic moment. Have you had yours? It’s easy, especially when you have children, to put them first always. But if you’re broken on the inside then you’re not giving them the best you. Put yourself first for a while. Concentrate on you, live life how you want to live it, do what makes you happy. It worked for me, try it.

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5 thoughts on “2012’s biggest life lesson: take control of your happiness

  1. Kudos to you on reaching this level of self actualization. I think it’s great that you are living for YOU. Not your husband nor your munchkin, but YOU. That is such a difficult thing for women everywhere. It’s true, when we are happy with ourselves, most times everything else just falls into place. I hope you continue on this spiritual growth journey and have a wonderful 2013 to follow up what seems to have been a great 2012 for you.

    1. I didnt realise the struggle was this real. I always saw/see fun and easy going, maybe a tad cross but I guess we all have a story. I have always said this….many people don’t understand themselves hence their struggles in life are magnified.

  2. Happy New Year, Diva! I love that you are embracing all of who you are and stepping out in your authentic skin. It’s a work in progress for all of us, but the key is the desire to be evolve into your best self. That’s where victorious living begins!

    Visiting from SITS, your Caribbean sister, Alison

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