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When you become a mother…

Everything about life changes. Some of these things you think about when you’re deciding to become a mother, some of these things you can’t foresee. If you don’t have a strong support system around you it can be much more difficult than it really needs to be. An article fluttered across my timeline recently that I can’t shake.

Girl, 3, eats leftovers for 2 days after mom dies. A 3-year-old girl comforted herself with her favorite toy and ate cheese, leftover lasagna and milk for two days after her mother died unexpectedly in their New Zealand home.

I can’t read the story without crying. I’m sure there are a million other sad stories out there but this one stayed with me. As a mom, every decision I make has to revolve around my child as well as my own needs. Like, if I were a single mother and had to take a job that has long hours, who would pick up my slack? Is it fair to ask the grandparents/aunts/neighbours/friends to up the overtime they probably already put in? I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking them to do so, no one takes care of munchkin like her momma does. I spoke with an employer recently who wasn’t keen on hiring women with young children. Suddenly, some jobs aren’t practical.

If some jobs aren’t practical, moving out of the country on our own certainly isn’t. My little munchkin isn’t even at the age where she can open the fridge like that 3 year old yet. If I had to work late, who could I call to pick up munchkin from school? If we went to a quiet park for a picnic and something happened to me, how long would it take for someone to find her? Will she do well in her new environment? Will she be ridiculed and bullied? If munchkin were to ever change from a bubbly, outgoing little tot to a reclusive, depressed kid I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

I think sometimes about moving to another country to tackle my fashion career dreams and so I guess this is one of the reasons this article has affected me so. Because of my one little munchkin, it probably wouldn’t be enough for me, munchkin and hubs to move. I’d want my momma, my sister, his momma, his cousin….lawd! But, we can’t live in fear. Fear holds us back from being great and if I were to let every abductor, abuser, molester story affect me then me and munchkin would live at home forever and never leave my house. But we gotta live. We gotta eat and we gotta pay the bills….

I waited a while to post on this story because I didn’t want to get all emotional and still. I love my munchkin. How does one balance demanding careers and family life?

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2 thoughts on “When you become a mother…

  1. Hey Aunty Mo Mo,

    Its so funny but a year ago this post wouldn’t have phased me one bit I was Married, but single, still felt free as a bird. Then came along little Moon and my whooole life went berserk…I looked into my husbands eyes just last night with tears and said to him as a woman I think we wear to many Hats, Wife, Friend, professional, daughter, aunt, cousin and then the big hat of being a MOTHER. Its hard, very hard I just started my journey and already I have shifted, omitted and altered my plans I have for me, You ask how we balance it all, I am still working that out and so is my mom, my aunt, my cousin (who had her first child last year) my boss, my friends, its ongoing and never ending i spose. Motherhood for me is digging deep and finding what you never knew you had and pushing it to the top to do the “BEST” thing for you and your little one. Its a hard job but somebodies gats to do it it, why not me

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