35 Life Lessons at 35: When Do We Actually Figure This Sh*t Out?

This past weekend I turned 35 years old. It brings me much joy to say that since the opposite of not turning 35 years old is rather grim. But something funny dawned on me at this grand old age.

I still haven’t figured life out!

How on earth am I supposed to lead another life coming up if I haven’t figured out my own!

When I turned 30, I thought well, this is it. This was the age that you leave all “young people tings” behind and actually step into adulthood. It’s the age of real young people randomly calling you “mummy” and “modda” and all kinds of geriatric names as if you birthed them. It’s the age when I thought I should probably stop so much partying now and start investing in wrinkle creams and figure out things like stocks and bonds.

It’s never too early to figure out stocks and bonds. That’s one life lesson for you, do that now.

But then I realised that with age and life experiences, some things may never ever change. I still love the things I used to love and I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon simply because I’m getting older. I’m now able to look at life through the lens of my 8yo self and understand the things my mom used to say and connect with some of the whack responses I received.

I’m 35years old and I still haven’t figured life out. But I’m old enough and wise enough to now know that I never will. I’ve learnt some lessons along the way though and I’ll share some of those lessons with you today. Here’s my epic list of things you should know by the age of 35.

• Things aren’t as bad as you think they are.
• Life goes on, tomorrow will come whether you want it to or not.
• You get to choose how you feel in the moment, happiness truly is an inside job.
• There’s always something to be grateful for.
• If we focus on the things in our life that we should be thankful for, we’ll get more of it.
• Bad things happen to us because we think bad thoughts and have bad feelings.
• Reading enhances your life. Read more books.
• Eating right and exercising is serious. Stop eating so much junk.
• I love to party. I do less of it with age and responsibilities, but I still love to party. I haven’t lost my spunk with age and will be the oldie baddie on the dance floor giving you your life.
• Being drunk isn’t cute. Driving drunk is f*cking dangerous. Stop that.

• Good friends are hard to come by, love up on the ones you have.
• Being alone doesn’t have to mean loneliness, read a book, work on yourself, get to know yourself.
• Walk away from relationships that hurt. It’s stupid to stay because of what others will think.
• Forgive quickly, it frees you up for the future.
• Learn the lessons, avoid the situations. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you excuse awful behaviour.
• Be less selfish. Everybody has their own story, care about theirs as well.
• Stick with things, see them through. Don’t’ give up so easily.
• On the flip side, walk away from that which isn’t helping you to learn or grow.
• You’re better off than you think you are. Be grateful for the things you have managed to accomplish thus far.
• Stop comparing your journey with others. You are exactly where you are meant to be, right now.

• You have the power to create your path. If you don’t like the journey you are on, you have the power to change it.
• Some people will try to suck you dry for all you’ve got. Give all you can and then walk away.
• Give out of pure love and expect nothing in return. Give out of the kindness of your heart.
• Help others in need.
• You will hurt people along the way. Apologise and allow them space if they choose to move on.
• STOP. EATING. SO. MUCH. JUNK!
• I’m fat sure, but it’s not even that. What we eat is the cause of so much disease as well. The burger or the KFC really isn’t worth it.
• Listen to your intuition. Follow your passion. All that good stuff. I’ve always wanted to be a blogger. If I had followed my heart all those years ago and took myself seriously, my life’s path might be much different today.
• That said, regret is for the birds. The path wasn’t so bad afterall and the lessons brought me to where I am today. Which is a pretty good state.
• Learn a second language. It’s useful for all this travel you do and want to do.

• Save. Invest. Figure out finances sooner, rather than later.
• Master something. Figure out your passion in life, that thing that you like to do and can do a little better than everybody else, and work at it every day. Just go with me here.
• Communicate with those family members that you love and cherish often. Especially your parents, they’re getting older too.
• Take risks early on in life. They’ll either pay off really well or you’ll be young enough to bounce back and benefit more from the lesson learnt.
• Greatness is just outside your comfort zone. Push yourself to do that thing that you’re scared of and watch miracles manifest.

So there you have it. My life in 35 points, really. At 35, I still feel as young as I was when I was 25. I remember my 15-year-old self and how much I thought I had this whole life thing figured out. I’m still her. I’ve just learnt a few lessons that have made it easier to flip the bird and move on when things aren’t going my way.

I did buy this book for myself and I’m taking my time to absorb it. I read Think and Grow Rich and it was so good! But truth be told, Outwitting the Devil will change your life. If you’re new to Napoleon Hill, start there like I did.

This lesson on forking off is one of the greatest lessons ever about changing your frequency and not dwelling on negativity. I would be honoured if you would give it a listen. Consider it a birthday gift to me. I hope it moves you like it did me.

One of the great things about turning 35 is the realization that I’ve learnt enough to live the next 35 with nuff nuff wisdom and spunk. There are no rules for life after 35. Gwaan do yuh ting!

One of the things that excites me the most is changing my life at 35. I’ve come upon the awakening that anything’s possible at any stage of life and for me, I am just getting started. Even though it’s rented, I do live in a nice home and drive a nice new car. My daughter goes to a good school and we always have food on the table. For these things I am grateful and I’m looking forward to building upon all of these things. I’ve stopped comparing my life to some checklist of things I was supposed to have accomplished thus far. Where I am is pretty sweet. As long as I have life and the willpower to try again, my situation will always be pretty sweet.

Next stop, building wealth and love. Stay tuned…

If you missed the links, you can get my birthday dress here and my shoes here.

Related: The prelude to my 35 year old life crisis 

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