The love affair with my hair…and my decision to go natural

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Please excuse my hiatus…it’s just one of those things. You know, as a mom, it’s so amazing to watch a little life blossom. They’re so precious…so amazing…so full of life. Every time she says something new…discovers a new way to do something or is up to some mischief and looks over at me to see if i’m watching her I really have to sit back and marvel at life. When she hears a new word…pauses to process and then tries to repeat…always gets me. She’s so precious. She’s changed my life in many many ways and my hair is next on the list.

my precious

Whenever someone met my little baby girl, after marveling at how cute and smart she is of course, they always comment “oh no she didn’t get your hair.” My hair is a little wavy, her father’s is kinky so you know that means I have the “good hair.” It always irks me but I just smile and let it go because it’s a conversation not worth having. It’s the same whenever I let her wear her hair in an afro “You can’t manage to comb her hair?” Uhm…I think her lil afro is cute. What, my baby can’t wear her hair in a wash and go? Its gotta be in some plaits or cornrows to not look unkempt? (why isn’t “kempt” a word?) Anyway I’ll be the first to admit that cornrows aren’t my strong points and baby girl fights me whenever I try to get up in her hair. I dunno how she lets other people comb her hair all the time but its world war three whenever momma tries. We’re slowly getting better at it though, as long as I have something that will keep her attention for a while, she’ll allow me to comb it and I’m getting better. I’ll be a pro by the time she starts to care about how her hair looks 😀 Some good ‘ol Jamaican castor oil always does the trick of making it nice and easy to comb thru after washing.

I’ve been researching different oils and products to use in her hair to make it softer, more manageable to comb and last longer and the more I research is the more I feel the pull to go natural myself. Who best for my baby girl to look up to for gorgeous natural hairstyles than her own momma. She should have to look no further than myself for all the positive reinforcement she needs and I feel the need to have the same hair regimen as my princess. My hair wasn’t processed until I graduated high school and made the decision on my own and I plan to do the same for my munchkin. Whenever I felt I wanted to try something new my momma would back out the ‘ol hot comb and I’d brace myself for at least one or two sure burns. I always loved the result, but not the burns. I remember when she was rocking her jherri curl and I would use her gels in my hair trying to get the same results. When I was old enough to plait and twist my own hair, I’d do that when I wanted a change. To be honest I’ve wanted to go back natural for quite a while now because I prefer a curly style to a straight one, plus I spend too much money straightening my hair only to have it frizz out on my first sweat. And I sweat. It’s so disappointing to get my hair done for a night out on the town, only to get there looking all fly, start to dance or have one drink and then poof…and out comes the scrunchi. It’s certainly time to embrace my curls.

For a long time my hubby was in the back of my mind regarding this decision. He’s never been too happy whenever I

my first big chop

bring it up but he always says something like “it’s your hair.” He wasn’t too happy the last time I did a big chop, even though I wasn’t natural, I just felt for a change. I asked him why he was against me going natural and he said something about how I’m not gonna keep it looking good, it’s always gonna be in one or whatever. I guess I can see where he’s coming from. Just because it’s in its natural state doesn’t make natural hair any easier to deal with. It still has to be styled and taken care of as routinely as processed hair and I don’t intend to have my hair in a bun the majority of the time. What I love is that with natural hair, there’s a myriad of styles I can do without having to process it. That was an initial concern of mine, that I’d just be wearing twist outs all the days of my life. I still plan to colour my hair as if you know me, you know I love some golden tresses, and I’ll indulge in blowouts to straighten whenever I feel like it or maybe for special occasions with the hubs since he likes it straight. Events where I’ll be sitting pretty and not required to sweat a lot….but I think I’ve decided that natural is definitely the best hair for me. I’m embracing the hair that’s growing out of my head.

This video is some good inspiration too…how cute is her flexirod set? This may be one of my staple hairstyles 😀

It’s similar to the style I’ve decided to rock for the majority of my transition…See how mine is all flat cus it’s relaxed? You just can’t get that kinda body from a relaxer 😀 Ok you can, cause I have before with smaller rollers…plus this was day 4 or 5 so everything was all smushed down. My last relaxer was in late August. I don’t think I’ll big chop, just keep snipping away at the ends for now.

Some images from Depositphotos

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  1. Soooooooo, what did your research on oils to use to soften hair turn up…i have been trying to find something to use in my daughters hair….i have been hearing about the castor oil…..where u get it? is it the bad smelling black one i have heard about????

    1. Well yeah the castor oil is the main one try it out man its thick yes but I quite like the smell. I buy it in the pharmacy where there have all the oils and I mix it with olive oil as well. I hear people say they mix it with lavender or peppermint oil to combat the smell but I don’t think its all that necessary 😀


    My hair natural would be hell, its already hell relaxed :s

  3. Hey there. Be careful with the castor oil and the baby…or yourself for that matter. Wash your hands when you’re done with it because if that reach your mouth it can cause diarrhea…it’s a natural laxative.

    I’m so happy you’re embracing the napps. Interestingly, I cut off ALL of mine two nights ago and planned to blog about it later. Look out for that. It’s great that you recognize the value of her having you as a hair model as well, love it.

  4. I’m glad that you are making a conscious decision about how to handle your daughter’s hair, AND how your own views/routines affects the way she will view her hair. SO many black women do not celebrate our own natural hair, and though I don’t believe every woman HAS to be natural, or that something is inherently flawed about a woman who chooses not to wear her hair in its natural state, I do believe that open conversation about the beauty and care of our hair in all its states, is important to have–particularly for our girls. My husband’s hair is a little wavy too, and I got the “feedback” from people about how Marley (now age 7) didn’t get hubby’s hair. Sage (age5) has hair like his, but they still both wanted locs, and after talking with them for months about the benefits and limitations of locked hair, they wanted locs, and they are happy with their hair.

    Again, thank you for having this conversation “out loud”. It’s not just hair, it matters!

    1. Thanks you’re right it does matter and its really important to me that my munchkin be able to look up to her mama so I’m trying to make sure I’m living right, esp when it comes to beauty and health

  5. Natural hair is so gorgeous, I tried and I admit I folded and creamed it again. I just love my creamed hair. For frizzy hair you should really try Herbal Essences Smoothing shampoo and conditioner 🙂

    1. thanks! this post is a year old, i’ve since big chopped and went through a whirlwind of products and colours! where are you ladies from?